press release

-------------------------------------
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
-------------------------------------

Renowned Scholar Cracks "Carr Paradox"

Austin, TEXAS, SEPTEMBER 14, 2078. At the turn of the millennium, a little known Texas author was posting to blogs and creating a name for himself on the World Wide Web, as it was referred to at the time. His treatises on life, sex, and the predicament of casual fashion as it directly correlates to the decline of Western civilization were hailed by fans and critics alike. For years following his death, researchers scrutinized these written gems for clues to crack the mystery that shrouded the reclusive writer's life. Now, after fourteen years of sleuthing, Portland author Francine Esther Harding — herself an artist — claims she has the answer. And her online reference work, OrWhatHaveYou.Org, will eventually reveal all.

You might call it “The Carr Paradox,” but a more accurate title would be “Brian Carr's Philosophy about Things on Places.” The term was coined by the Oregonian scholar herself. It is also the title of her essay to appear next year in "The Trans-Orbital Monthly," now available on most interplanetary shuttle flights.

The paradox, according to Harding, is that the War on Terror era scribe, Brian Carr, conspicuously flaunted his homosexual affinities throughout his entire life, but never became a recognized member of the gay movement itself. This factoid hints at a far more fundamental problem: the writer was consumed by his own sexuality.

“The only solution to the paradox,” asserts Harding, “is to keep your grip on both horns of the dilemma and never let go of either one. Carr was the propagator of ‘the institution of manly love’ yet he always felt on the periphery of the gay community. My research explains how this maddening contradiction was possible.”


And the answer to the Carr Paradox? Was Carr a Queer? “The answer,” quips Harding, “is no, Carr was not a Queer. He was infinitely too good of a Queer to ever be a Queer.”

For more information, contact:
Francine Esther Harding, Curator
OrWhatHaveYou.Org
75521 N Woolsey Ave
Portland
OR 97203

spam

sometimes reality is stranger than fiction...

FROM: IVORY COAST WEST AFRICA
DEAREST ONE,

I AM MISS FAITH AKU FROM IVORY COAST AND I AM CONTACTING YOU
BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP IN THE MANAGEMENT OF SUM OF MONEY THAT MY LATE
FATHER LEFT FOR ME BEFORE HE DIED.THE MONEY IS USD 5.7 MILLION U.S DOLLARS AND THE MONEY IS IN ONE OFF THE SECURITY COMPANIES HERE IN ABIDJAN.

MY FATHER WAS A VERY RICH COCOA FARMER AND HE WAS POISONED BY HIS
BUSINESS COLLEAGUES AND NOW I WANT YOU TO STAND AS MY GUIDIAN AND APPOINTED
BENEFICIARY AND RECEIVE THE MONEY IN YOUR COUNTRY SINCE I AM ONLY GIRL AND 21YEARS OLD AND WITHOUT MOTHER AND FATHER.

PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO REPLY ME BACK THIS EMAIL SO THAT I WILL TELL
YOU MORE ABOUT THE INFORMATION SO THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT
SO THAT YOU WILL GET ME PAPERS TO TRAVEL TO YOUR COUNTRY TO CONTINUE MY
EDUCATION THERE? I AM WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY AND I WILL CALL YOU
AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM YOU. AND I WILL SEND YOU A COPY OF MY PICTURE. HEARING FROM YOU. WILL LET YOU KNOW THE PERSON YOU ARE HELPING.
THANKS.

MISS FAITH AKU

another chinese disturbance (or a day at the museum)

Well, I managed to drag my ass out of the house at the crack of noon today to go see that "American Twenties" exhibit over at UT's Harry Ransom Center. Personally, I do see what all the fuss is about seeing as I'm convinced that in a past life must have I lived through the Harlem renaissance back in '24. (Or the stock crash of '29... I keep forgetting which.) So, this excursion was like slipping on a familiar coat, visiting old friends -- or is that slipping up getting familiar with old friends?
In any case, I was greeted at the entrance by a wall sized placard with the sobering words of Frederick Lewis Allan that I found impossible not to roll around on my tongue repeatedly, like a hard candy that you can't help but savor:

" Soon the mists of distance would soften the outlines of the nineteen- twenties, and men and women, looking over the pages of a book such as this, would smile at the memory of those charming, crazy days when the radio was a thrilling novelty, and girls wore bobbed hair and knee- length skirts, and a trans-Atlantic flyer became a god overnight, and common stocks were about to bring us all to a lavish Utopia. They would forget, perhaps, the frustrated hopes that followed the war, the aching disillusionment of the hard-boiled era, its oily scandals, its spiritual paralysis, the harshness of its gaiety; they would talk about the good old days ...."

The exhibit was broken down into themes, each room more or less encompassing some movement or cultural shift that occured in art, literature, music, architecture and interior design. "Babbitts and Bohemians," gave way to "The Rise of Women," which in turn led to "The New Negro." The door on the left led to the bathrooms and segregated drinking fountains.

I was particularly struck by the artifacts in "Hollywood's Dream Factory" including an actual flapper gown and black and white gelatin prints of the likes of Gloria Swanson, Douglas Fairbanks, and Mary Pickford.
There was even a wall-sized lithograph of a Houdini poster entitled "Man from Beyond," that showed the magician being taunted by jungle natives in a block of ice. Most tantalizing -- almost like that night I got lost on E. 12th Street.


What really grabbed my attention though was a portrait of the inimitably bobbed Louise Brooks in a miu-miu that exclaimed "ANOTHER CHINESE DISTURBANCE!" It went on to say that Miss Brooks, a new player at Paramount Pictures exhibits the latest in Oriental style, with a jacket of brocade and matching mules unseen on this continent.
I, for one, can vouch that this is one trend that won't be making a return appearance at your local North American Target.