my life as a dink

I got a chuckle from reading a headline in this morning's paper -- or internet rather, as papers seem to be so 1993 -- proclaiming gay couples as the new "dinks." Apparently, this serves as an acronym for "double income, no kids" since I suppose "fashion sense, no wrinkles" wouldn't do. Today marks an historic occasion as California performs it first legal gay wedding ceremony. You can just about hear the cash registers at Crate and Barrel and Williams-Sonoma cha-chinging from here. Looks as if current polling places public sentiment in favor of legalizing same-sex unions hovering around 33-40% -- poll numbers Bush would kill for. I say, live and let pay taxes. We should all have the same rights to be as miserable as our straight counterparts. After all, I predict that in five years or so, the divorce court dockets will be full of Mr Kramer vs. Mr. Kramer, and then the playing field will be truly leveled. Here comes the Groom....

untitled

I have a severe case of writer’s block. The words just don’t flow, as if the tap has been turned off at the source for non-payment. This is synaptic constipation at its best.... textual dysfunction, if you will. The familiar noun-verb-noun structure has failed me. Times like these are a reminder that those who can, do... those who can’t apparently blog about it.

modern furniture (and the gays)

..Since the earth is curved, when one points a finger, physically speaking, said finger is generally accepted as being aimed back at the pointer. Attached is an article I recently stumbled across that possibly explains the rationale behind my love for all things IKEA, mid-century, and the Barcelona Chair in exquisitely excruciating detail. Be careful what you wish for... you might just read about yourself. And yes, I do own one if you care to sit on it..When gay people envision their dream home, a key part of the fantasy involves a least one piece of furniture designed by a famous architect from the 1930s.
Architects like Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier designed iconic modern furniture that has inspired virtually everything made by Ikea and Design Within Reach, both of which are key suppliers of furniture to gay people.
But as with all things, gay people will do whatever it takes to secure authenticity including paying thousands of dollars for a small piece of furniture.
If they are able to acquire this prized furniture, they will forever refer to it only by the designers name. "I spend hours in the van der Rohe, just looking through these beautiful books of his work."
Referring to a gay person's expensive chair as a 'chair' is considered poor form and will likely result in a loss of trust and/or respect.
The best strategy for avoiding this faux pas is to look for the most uncomfortable chair in a gay person's home and ask "who designed that?" If they say "Ikea" or "Design within Reach" you can call it a chair, otherwise refer to it only by the name they give you.
It should also be noted that many heterosexuals are unable to acquire this furniture, but that does not mean you can use this information to your advantage.
In situations where you need to improve your connection with a gay person, just mention how you hope to be successful enough to one day afford an original piece of furniture by ___________ . If they have heard of the designer they will nod in agreement, if they have not, they will also nod in agreement and make a note to look it up later.
In either case, your status will rise.

2008 A.D.

I am good. I will be better. I will be on time, and have more patience for those who aren't. I will eat less red meat. I will eat more red meat. I will read my Kabbalah books. I will be a better listener, and a better friend. I will write letters that require stamps. I will get my BMW. I will trespass less, and forgive those who trespass against me. I will shoot trespassers. I will be more organized and return calls, emails, and faxes in a timely manner. I will be less judgmental (except in cases of fashion.) I will vote Democratic. I will touch the Eiffel Tower and eat french fries in France. I will learn to play the guitar. I will use the word "will" less often. I will.

eviction

Standing barefoot on loamy bank,facing east, toes baptized in silt,
I watch the flames lick the sky,
a frenetic tarantella of ember and ash.

A house, once coveted,
longing to seduce me in the in blue lightof flickering tv screens.

Abandoned desires for kindling,
a blistering new tenant to replace the old.

I hold the match.

chain letter

Here's how you play:"Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog w/ 10 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ("You're It") and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers!"

10 THINGS YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW

1. I like my cereal room temperature, and soggy, sometimes letting it sit for up to an hour before eating it.
2. I have a crush on Anderson Cooper.
3. I own over 200 pairs of underwear.
4. I own over 30 pairs of jeans.
5. I cry every time I watch Forrest Gump.
6. I have seen RENT seven times in five cities across the country.
7. I have seen Madonna five times in four cities across the country.
8. My favorite meal of all time is a tray of Swanson Salisbury Steaks and reconstituted mashed potato flakes with a glass of milk.
9. I brush my teeth three times a day, especially after eating Swanson Salisbury Steaks and reconstituted mashed potato flakes.
10. My worst fears include snakes and heights.... but not at the same time.

Who am I sending this to...
1) Nobody. The chain letter stops here. I will now have bad luck for the next 15 years, but at least I wont incur the wrath of my true friends.
Exeunt.

acquainted with the night

Evenings descend earlier now along the banks of Tannehill Creek gingerly, on cat's paws, so that by the time I arrive home from work I can barely make out the trusses of the new house framed against the twilight. There, on the back deck perched amongst arthritic oaks, I find myself drinking a beer and pondering what life will be like after the shingles are laid, the drywall floated, and the Nelson lamps hung just so.
Nights like this, months hence, will most assuredly bring the glow of tv screens from veiled windows to illuminate the landscape an incandescent blue. I inhale the cedar-tinged air and watch the fireflies alight. I have been one acquainted with the night.

Acquainted With the Night
By Robert Frost

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain--and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-by;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.